Sharp words cut me 

By razor sharp tongues

Icy eyes watch me 

Judging every little piece 

Harsh brains  calculate me 

Watching for any imperfections 

And they always ask 

Skinny or Fat Girl ?

Curvy or Flat Girl ?

Nice or Mean Girl ?

Smart or Dumb Girl?

Nerd or Popular Girl ?

1 or 10 Girl ?

So worrying i do  

Want Another piece 

No im not Hungry 

Hey does this shirt 

Make me look flat?

Step on the scale 

There goes another meal 

Im not Good Enough 

Is what i think .

Big bloated belly is

All i ever see 

How many calories ?

I ask constantly 

Your fat your ugly

Is all i think 

I try and fake 

A smile 

But the scale determines my mood…

I wish i was skinny 

Well 

To bad all

You have is fat and not

Bone is what i want 

I always envy

The people that talk

About food like it is

A treasure more like a knife 

It recks you inside and out and 

So a endless of negative thoughts

Cloud me and i forget 

I AM A HUMAN

And perfection is an illusion

And that tearing myself apart 

IS NOT OKAY 

But still i  continue 

This gut wrenching cycle

And this happens

Just another hour 

I say as i run till i collapse 

Just another hour i say as 

My stomach is growling 

Like an angry dog 

Its tearing me apart 

And people say pretty`s on the inside 

Well for me it is on the outside 

And a mirror full of lies 

Taints my perspective 

Feelings bubble up inside 

Never unwind they are trapped

In there forever 

So im drowning in a river of self doubt 

Whenever someone says your not fat .

And they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

But what happens when the beholder is yourself  ….?