#becauseIloveyou

#becauseIloveyou
600 miles meant nothing to me because I loved you.
I gave up my freedom, and that was okay because I loved you.
I made my high school best friend go home after the 15-mile drive just to see me, because I loved you.
Love makes you do crazy things, but the only love between us was your love of controlling me.
I was accused.
I was abused.
I had nothing going for me, as long as you were here.
I was forced into marriage.
You lied about your heritage.
I had no idea who you really were.
I began to see the darkness in you, but I couldn’t run away.
I had the choice to watch you die or watch myself die, and I chose me.
I started to fall and you got a twisted pleasure out of my misery and that isn’t okay.
Every time I tried to leave you held the knife to your neck and begged me to stay.
You broke down my walls and left my heart a disaster.
I spent hours researching how to leave an abusive relationship but yet
I couldn’t explain why I needed to leave any faster.
You brought me down and that was no mistake.
It was part of your day to watch me drown in my dismay.
you spent months tearing my family apart, and almost a year wrecking my mind.
I kept searching, I was looking for a place to rewind.
So I could go back time and tell you I don’t want to be with you.
I don’t want to be with you because I loved you.
You will never love me.
Marriage happened and I begged you to get help.
You persuaded me the system was some sort of scheme and that you couldn’t be helped.
I believed you but it was all because I loved you.
I eventually broke and I was left in shards.
I promise you that I did not love you. 
I swear that the smile on my face as they escorted you out shined brighter than a million stars in a small area of space.
Little did I know that this was only the beginning of my freedom.
I was falling for a broken, but the problem was is that he was like you.
It took me a while to run away but when I did I met happiness.
My soul shines bright as he sits across the table.
He brings an overwhelming calm to my troubled heart.
even though he knows of my trauma, he insists on us having a brand new start together.
We were both damaged.
Heartless, you could almost say.
We both lost ourselves when we gave our hearts away.
I found you by a completely insane chance.
I am sitting here letting my mind dance.
It is dancing to the symphonies in my heart
The symphonies my heart composes when I am with you.
More beautiful than Beethoven, yet as complex as Shakespeare.
With you by my side, I  feel like there is no reason to fear.
You ricochet the fire back into my eyes.
I know that my healing soul belongs with yours.
I feel that I glow beside you.
I have found my soul to renew.
I am here, and I am here because I love you.

This poem is about: 
Me

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