I want to cry

Screw up my eyes and bawl

Scream into a void about the unfairness of it all

But the tears refuse.

They won’t come to my eyes.

Won’t allow me release from the torture you brought me

I can’t mourn, can’t grieve, can’t move on.

I can’t make sense of this, baby.

I know I’m enough. I know it deep in my heart.

But every time you touch me and then let me go,

I lose it a little.

Because YOU don’t see me as enough.

You say that I mean so much to you.

You say that it scares you, how much you care.

But you don’t care, won’t let yourself care.

Because if you did then you would listen to me wanting to cry

Wanting to cry because you hurt me. Again.

And now I’m trying to balance not trusting you with wanting to run to you and hide from all the problems the world faces.

For me, you are something that I want with all my heart. But when you look at me, all you see is someone you have convinced yourself you can’t have.

And now, maybe you can’t.

Because of you, I want to cry.