Do you have ANY idea what you have done to me?

Can’t you see?

 

Because of YOU

My childhood consisted of empty promises, nothing but air bubbles. 

Should have saved yourself the trouble.

'Cause I was that 8-year-old girl, with little brown curls,

Who believed you when you promised to take me to the movies.

I spent two hours waiting and wasting and watching time just fly by,

But you never came.

Just the same, 

I kept believing in you,

I kept receiving from you…

A phone call.

 

And then you tried

To make up some lame excuse to hide

The real reason you left me behind.  

But dad, your lie

Was king-sized.  

 

And because of your love affair,

I was left there.

Crying,

Trying to hold back the tears.

But just like that!

My sadness… disappeared.

Replaced by anger instead.

“Something came up at work,” you said…

 

BULLSHIT

 

Because of YOU

I don’t get too attached to people,

Afraid they’ll let me down,

Fearing they’ll let me drown,

That I’ll feel lost

And will never be found.

 

Because of YOU

Whenever I cry,

I feel vulnerable, spineless, weak.

Sick to my stomach

And I can’t speak!

So I keep all of it bottled up inside,

And smile, in order to hide

Everything that is wrong with me.

 

Because of YOU

I find it hard to trust.

And all the damage you have done to me

Feels like this huge ball of

Dust in the air

That follows me everywhere I go!

And you don’t care that no one has been able to know

The real me…

Who I am…

 

Because they don’t see

The broken girl with a broken heart;

The one hiding behind the mask,

Seconds from falling apart.

They see the smiling face….

My hiding place.

 

Because of YOU

I have managed to build a brick wall,

So strong,

That not even the impact of a cannon ball

Could make it fall.

 

Because of YOU

I. Am afraid. To love.