“You’re just worthless, that’s all you will ever be.”

“You’re a whore, and you’re not good enough for me”

“I’m too good for you, can’t you see?”

 

These words echo loud in my head

Pictures of you with your fist raised

Burn behind my eyelids before I finally go to bed

The injuries, both emotional and physical

To this day, cause too many tears to be shed

 

These are the words of the man

No - the boy

Who claimed to love me

The one who stole my joy.

Now, my image of love has been shifted

Because for the past year, I’ve been nothing but a toy.

 

Love to me, is nothing but pain and hurt

Something that I would like to change

As this has caused me to become an extreme introvert.

Love to me, is a feat that can never be reached

Because this past relationship caused me to do nothing but overexert.

“Because I love you,”

That was his reason to divert

And throw me on the ground with no remorse.

 

Preferably, I would like to experience a healthy relationship

Something I have never been exposed to.

A “healthy relationship” to me, is something that can change my view

On love and everything it means.

 

“I will accept you as you are”

“I will not stray far”

“I will never be the reason behind a scar”

 

I want love to mean happiness, and no remorse

I want love to mean I will not be hit, or thrown

I want love to mean that I will not be called names

I want love to mean acceptance

I want love to mean that despite my past, I will be enough.

Most of all, I want the image of love in my mind

To be shifted to one with an aura of glee

Instead of one that will make me wish I wasn’t alive.

“Because I love you”

Means so much to me.

Although I may not have experienced true love romantically,

I have experienced it within my family.

 

“Because I love you, we are prosecuting him.”

“Because I love you, you will never have to see him again.”

“Because I love you, I am here, and I will listen.”

 

True love to me, is that of my mother, my father, my sister

The people that took it upon themselves to be sure

That no other girl will have to experience the abuse I received

During the year of 2016

The worst year of my life.

 

Because my mom loved me,

She took me from the person I thought loved me.