I was stupid.

On that moonless night, I wished for a guiding light that would lead me to happiness.

On that moonless night, I was empty and emotionless on the inside.

On that moonless night, I was too naive

On that moonless night, I fell for your eyes that made my heart flutter.

On that moonless night, you took my breathe away.

On that moonless night, you showed up and mesmerized me.

On that moonless night,  I didn’t regret meeting you.

 

Because I loved you, I’ve learned to respect you.

You’ve introduced me to new things; they weren’t for the better.

My love for you was some sort of addiction; I couldn’t give you up easily.

 

You made me feel loved.

You made me feel respected.

You made me happy.

Those days had a good run.

Then all of the love started to crumble down.

You made me feel worthless.

You made me feel sadness.

You made me feel lonely.

You made me feel as if I were a problem rather than a human being.

You've left me behind.

 

I, needing you, was waiting for your return.

The minutes turned to hours.

Hours turned to days.

Days turned to weeks.

Weeks into months.

Months; they were harder to break.

Every night, I’d stare up to the ceiling, wondering if you could see the same shining stars as I could, but was instead hit with the reality that I meant nothing to you.

You didn’t care.

 

I couldn’t live without you; I couldn’t live without the pain that you’ve caused me.

Take a look at what I am now.

Take a look of the mess you’ve created.

Won’t you take credit for this? Or should I tell them it was all my fault for being manipulated by you?

All these thrown objects, all these hits, all these words; I consumed them as if they were the only thing I had left in life.

 

This is all a living nightmare; I couldn’t escape.

I couldn’t better myself,

I couldn’t leave everything behind,

I couldn’t make it all fade away,

I couldn’t escape from the tangles of your soul,

I couldn’t find a new beginning,

I couldn’t forget about the things you’ve told me.

I was deceived, but I refused to accept it.

I was too deep into my own version of this love that I couldn’t take all of these hits and burns as a form of violence.

 

You told me you were different.

You told me you’d stay.

Was this all a game to you?

 

You treated me as if I were a puppet.

I was tormented to be under your control.

I didn’t want to be a part of this.

You’ve shattered me.

 

I won’t forget the traces you’ve left on me.

I was already empty on the inside, but you wanted me dead.

Was I just something you could throw your anger at?

 

I no longer want to be a part of this curse.

I no longer know my worth.

I no longer want to sit around and suffer.

I no longer want to act as if everything meant nothing.

All these words and all these actions are left inside of my mind.

I couldn’t escape this brutal reality.

But now I can.

I am strong enough to know what is right for me; this wasn’t it.

 

On this moonless night, I no longer long for you.

On this moonless night, I no longer see love coming from your eyes.

On this moonless night, I no longer feel happiness when im around you

On this moonless night, I no longer wish to be with you.

On this moonless night, I hope you seek help and find methods to better yourself.

On this moonless night, I am setting you free.

Why? Because I love you.