How many nights will I spend here
With tears running down my cheeks
Facing a darkness that surrounds the light in my heart
Waiting to be free.
For how long will I continue to hide my emotions
Pretending that everything is perfect
Sliently screaming that it's not.
Hoping someone passes by and smiles
To make judgement day a little easier.
How long will my eyes wander
Toward the wrong interests
Finding desire in those targets
Only to pivot away in discomfort
Because the word "NO" is what lingered in the air
How many lies will I make
Until I believe that one of them is true
Because the truth is attempting to cross every line
Break every wall
That has been built so carefully around me
How long will it take for me to be true?
Embracing all my colors
Abandoning the traces of gray that follow me
To find the courage to love on my own
Without a printed guide at hand to advise me
When will my heart be released,
From a prison that enforces conformity,
Assigned with wardens that will fight strongly
For the unjust side
That a new side is winning this war.
Today is when I walk out
Unashamed and unafraid of the idle stares
Being happy with the hand that holds mine
And seeing the sun grasp my many shades
In hopes of spreading a different message,
"Come out, my dear,
For the rain has stopped."