Battlefield Beautiful
Under the gaze of a perpetual cimmerian night
Bullets blazing, raging
Back and forth
Across a vast expanse of devastation
Explosions rendering arid earth from existence
Screams muted into silence
From mouths spewing spit just as vehemently as fragments from exploding shrapnel
Crumbling under the gravity of despair
Heaving gun powder amid ghastly winds
Tasting death on the tip of the tongue
Seeing death through eyes
Glazed with ballistic glass
A battlefield
What if my body is this battlefield?
It's me against me against the world
Dear world, I can't stand up to your insurmountable beauty standards
A bar far out of sight,
but never out of mind
You've stained my soul in a scarlet red not good enough
You see,
Thick skin isn't bullet proof
Every reminder that I'm too this too that, too much of me and not enough of you, leaves bullet holes where love should be
Did you know
That a mirror is a weapon of mass destruction
How easily a mirror can peel back your skin
turn you inside out
Expose your scars,
Puncture Your Purple Heart
Leave you lost dog tag and ghost
Or nothing
One of the worst things the world can do to a person is not to hurt them with "ugly"
But to inspire friendly fire,
To imprison you in your own skeleton
Turn your body into scorched earth and minefield
make you believe that the only way out is down
About six feet under
Weary of being the prisoner of a war I did not start,
I asked myself
What am I fighting for
As if I wasn’t fighting for myself
As if fighting for myself wasn’t love
And isn’t self love beautiful?
It was then I learned that in even in the midst of a warring battlefield
flowers could grow
I saw one
and then I planted some more
Dear world, you say that I am ugly
And you know what, you’re right
But I am only ugly if I am looking through your eyes
And I refuse to any longer
God has blessed me with two of my own
And Darius, I apologize for taking so long to use them to
see you, to see me