That Awkward Moment When...


United States
40° 50' 38.9004" N, 73° 53' 51.9684" W

That awkward moment when somebody walks through you like your not even there
They don't even bump you they just walk right through you
And it only gets worst
Her name is Crystal
and i thought I could trust her
It started off with hi’s and bye’s
Then it moved on to conversation that lasted all day
Like times when we would get in trouble in the classroom for talking too much
She would tell me things that she wouldn't tell anybody
And my heart would skip a beat when I would think about her
Or our heat generated bodies would touch
Sending tingling feelings in my nerves
See i'm a girl and shes a girl
And I don't understand why two people of the same gender can't be together
Not that I know her curiosity to her sexual attraction
She told me she liked me and maybe i'm just exaggerating
But i'm determined to be her girlfriend
And I mean that girlfriend that you kiss with those soft lips
And you hold hands with as well as make l-o-v-e too
That you send flowers to in the middle of the week or celebrate valentines day every other week because you want to please her
I don't even know her sexual orientation
But I am ready to be the person that listens to her clamps and her sleeping groans
The way her bones crack and the snaps of her click clacking heels
I told her how I felt
And then she dismissed me and told me that i was distinguished
As if I was a crumpled piece of paper or the worst dancer in the school trying to get into a dance battle with the best one
I thought we clicked and the way we talked and how everything went so well
I was blinded by her beauty
The next day she told everybody
And for the next 72 hours I got messages after messages about my sexual orientation
And then I got a hate mail pile
I was a bit surprised because I usually just stay under the radiator
Now my i'm the biggest star in my school and social networks
And now I have 744 friend request including request from the gay click
“You should just die” says one kid
I feel like I want to die
And good thing this didn't reach my mom but it sure did reach my brother
And now he's blackmailing me to do his homework for the whole school year
My life has turned to shit and this is what happens when you make friends with the wrong people
I now cut myself with the numbness of my taste buds from yesterday
Stabbing sharp words into my back like knives
Just before I jumped the plank
And surrendered my life to the sharks labeled as the kids in my school
I speak my final words to god
And say my final goodbye to my family in a letter
Tying my childhood around my neck
My mother always said I was an egg waiting to crack behind brick walls
I jump down to the hard project floors and make believe I am flying with angels
And then i'm gone
The awkward moment when somebody walks right through you like your not even there
My spirit lurks the halls of my old school now
And my body now buried with my crying mother and Crystal
I now know that Crystal writes stories about me
The type of stories she can't tell anybody
And she now has a girlfriend who she stays on low key with
I just hope that the sharks don't get her like they got me
Cause Karma's a bitch
So I've heard

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