yes you, the person reading this?
I've been there too you know.
swept under by the waves of depression
crippled by dark thoughts
curled up on the floor as sobs raked through my body
bodiless voices screaming from the shadows
telling me I'm worthless,
that I'm a burden on others.
I tried to silence them with razor blades
displaying the pain I felt on my skin
scarring my body to relieve the anxiety
and the insecurities I felt,
I came to hate myself.
fuck it, I came to hate life.
I never intended for things to turn out the way they did
but choices where made in the cloak of darkness
when to many sleepless nights led me to decisions I came to regret
when I found the answer in a yellow shoelace
and a message to all my loved ones.
I'll never forget the look on her face when she found me
or the fear she felt when she saved me
that night has found its way into every night since
because when I lay down its all I can think about.
that night I almost left this world
and that night I learned just how precious life is
but that night I hurt a lot of people
and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to make the same mistake
so if my words mean anything please listen to them.
you can't just leave like that
you can't just close the door on life
you can't just turn out the lights,
it doesn't work like that.
so please if you are hearing what I'm saying
put those pills away
because happiness doesn't come from a gun in your hand
live another day
please, please just stay,
because you are needed here
I need you here
and if you can't stay for yourself
stay for the fact that you are needed.
this is not a battle you face on your own
dear fellow warrior don't leave me to face this enemy all alone
whatever madness is going on inside of you,
we'll figure it out together
and its going to be okay
I'll say it one more time
Need to talk?
If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741