Look in the mirror,

What people tell me I am

I wish I was you, no you don’t  

You are so pretty, I’m not

You are beautiful, Okay

Look in the mirror, I won’t  

I hear these so much i feel like they’re fake

Anxiety

What i tell myself I am

I hate you because you are pretty

I hate your perfect body

I hate your perfect hair they say

I hear these so much i think they’re real

How can i know what is real when they express both sides of an insult and a compliment

What if it is real,

To a regular teenager this means nothing,

but of course i was not born to be an ordinary teenager

Why would someone say something that they don’t mean?  

What if everyone hates me

but they put it in the form of a compliment, it is  

Also portraying that i am too dumb to catch an insult, I am  

How many times, more often than not, do other girls respond to saying to myself “I’m so dumb”

With silence, they do  

Not denying the fact but also not confirming  

Does that mean I’m just a pretty face, yes 

That I’m not smart enough to be number one in the class, no you are not  

Compelling me to work harder to break that expectation

Yet i am still failing

I hear this so much i believe it’s real

It’s not real! yes it is

My thoughts aren’t real, no they aren’t

My response to anxiety  

You have no reason to be depressed

You have a bed

A house A family A job

A boyfriend or best friend who loves you, no he doesn’t  

Where did anxiety even come from

Look in the mirror! I won't! 

How can I escape something that is not real when the word hate and you

Are used more than the words love and you

Anxiety doesn’t show in the mirror but it is more real than what you see

Or what they see.