I coat my hands and feet in the white, powdery chalk,

Running through my beam routine in my head-

Trying to calm my nerves

By focusing on where to point my toes

And where to land each flip.

But

The earthquake of my mind

Shakes my hands beyond control

To create a divide that

Pounds my head with "what ifs" and "what's gonna happen"

As my lungs fill with dirt

My heart pounds with such intensity

All trying to make sense of the future

My future

That is crushing my mind and soul.