Stumbling, falling, staggering, bawling

No one cares (Or so I think)

Nothing matters except the bottom of my drink

If I go, who will notice?

I see them staring at me in my misery.

They judge me as they pass.

Hands in pockets, kicking up the litter,

The world goes cold

And once sweet music-bitter.

The last straw has come and gone,

They tell me to cheer up and so on.

But truly, the world doesn’t need me.

With my rope I stand on my chair

I jump, fall

And suddenly my sister is there

But she’s not my sister but me

I see her there, decorating a Christmas tree

She is the me I never got to be.

She looks so happy and gay

Laughing with the family I pushed away

Why didn’t my life go that way?

She had support, love and friends

Even as my life ends

I wonder, would she be me,

If I was everything I was meant to be?

The rope goes taut

Blinking back tears I think

Maybe I should have fought.

Then suddenly I wake,

With a start and a shake.

And I realize, that I’m me,

The me I dreamt of,

The one who I’m meant to be.

So it doesn’t bother me

When I’m told I have no job

No house or money

Because I’m me

I’m free

I’m the way I was meant to be.