Just tryna do everything I can to make it seem like I deserve you. Never try to make you mad, never wanted to hurt you. I did stupid things just to get your attention. Not knowing I was driving you away with no comprehension. Eagered to just see I broke alot rules. Left home just to see you even ditched school. Sed I didnt love you only because you told me that. Lying was a mistake so I blame myself for my hearts cracks. With you my world was sorounded by colors now it's gray and black. Wishing, wishing I could go back. As I try you still moving foward never looking back like there was nothing behind you. I felt the cold rush threw my vain straight into my heart. This is how it must feel to be deep in the dark. Eyes close because only in my dreams you are there, smile on your face no worries no cares. These are my own mistakes which lead me to self conflicting heart break. There's this pain inside me I can no longer bear, feel like dien . Let my suicide thoughts get prepared cause you will never look back so why would you care. All because of my own mistakes.Holding my head down like wtf! Thinking in my mind like wtf! Now my hearts screaming wtf! Thinking i should, just give up. Is love a curse? I'm dead inside, my soul is being carried out in a spiritual hearse. This pain is worse then a physical hurt, love is a bully and I feel like I just got kicked in the dirt. Love blacked out my mind, so now I'm tryna rewire. If love is a job, then I rather be retired and I'm exhausted from all the bullshit, so honestly I'm tired. Mentally and spiritually I'm confused, tell me. Are we losing the chemistry? The day you said bye I been living in misery. Hoping that one day we'll get back together eventually. Some reason though, it feel like you drifting away. It's like you fading quickly, this must be the start of your invisible state. Now I'm causing self-damage, twist my arm till it break and shoot myself in the face. Surprisingly I lived, so I guess dieing wasn't my fate. Though I feel there's this space in my heart you just tryna erase. No dope fiend, no coke fiend, but a fiend. Baby you a drug to me. Every moment with you is greater then luxuries. Put us together and ain't no body touching we. Without you I feel like dude from "Despicable Me", doing the best that I can but someone else in the lead. I'll say this till I die, baby you special to me. Don't care what no one thinks my nick name Rabbit. The first time I called you Cupcake, it stuck like a habit. I think about you all the time, in my head you're a permanent graphic. Without you in my life boo every moment is tragic. im out of focus, my life is movin slow but the pictures still blurry. hurry cause life's a bitch, and she's quick to seeing flaws, i'm so sick of bieng lost, let slick blades slide across my vains, till blood is drawn. insane my mine is gone, more pain the world brings on. burdens, my shoulders carry, i quit, but those words are scary, cause to them, poison s deadly. a dark boison berryblue my heart is, the light was to bright so i jumped in to darkness. heart hardened, but far from harmless, armed with chains and thorns stitched, so if my heart beats, i'll twitch. wolrd kill me with lies, but realize, i won't die, cause the truth is inside so, inside i rise. increase, highrise while you all high dive, off the top tower and hit the building's side. you want me to end it all, so i kilt myself, no suicide.