All I Think About

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What makes you think?

School, grades, work, time, everything, panic.

It's senior year, you've survived three years to make it to this point.

The end of high school. "The Stepping Stone" to the next chapter of your life.

College, if you're one of the lucky ones. 

What makes you think?

Graduation day. Everyone in matching caps and gowns. Marching in sync. Don't forget to smile.

Don't trip. Don't step out of line. Step on the beat. Look straight, not down. Count the steps.

Sit as one. Stand as one.

What makes you think?

Names are called, majors pursued, scholarships received. 

One stands: Pharmacy, 8 scholarships.

Another stands: Undecided, 6 scholarships.

And another: Carpentry, a Trade Skill, 1 scholarship, $350

Figure it out.

What makes you think?

Financial aid.

Priority Deadline missed. Filed in February. Processed in March. Priority Deadline missed.

Figure it out.

What makes you think?

Honors classes. Advanced Placement courses. 4.0 GPA. 12th in a class of 89.

One scholarship. Can't afford college.

Figure it out.

What makes you think? 

A phone call at 9 pm. Have you received the letter from the lawyer yet?

Eviction.

No choice. No questions. No help. No options.

Leave. Where?

Rooms full of laughter, echo.

Walls covered in pictures, bare.

Figure it out.

What makes you think?

Stress. Panic. Can't breathe. 

Figure it out.

On the verge of breaking. Can't think. Can't explain.

Figure it out. Figure it out. Figure it out.

I can't.

But I have to.

So, what makes you think?

I really don't want to think right now.

 

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