I was addicted

You would not believe it when I told you

I was addicted to the cold blade

Piercing the flesh of my wrist

leaving a trail of scars behind

You ask why I didn't tell you.

You keep asking me why I did it

A sweet girl with dreams

crushed by a heavy weight of pain and guilt.

Listen,

I've made choices that I am not proud of.

These choices haunt me to this day.

How can you judge me when you do not know the pain?

How can you judge me when you don't know what I've been through?

Here I am with you today Let me paint a picture of the dark secret

I kept inside for over 3 years

My addiction,

was an unending nightmare 

ending with bitter tears and long depressing nights

In my addiction,

I felt a wave of pure misery

I was disgusted with my whole being.

I thought this curse will fade away

It stayed it consumed me in it's deadly embrace

I gave in I thought I passed the point of no return.

STOP I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

In a loud voice I cried

"God please take this curse away from me!"

and he did.

The black lines

marked in pen

A memorial

A reminder

My scars may be gone

but the memories linger on.

Here I stand before you

I made it I am still here.

Let me tell you that If you think

You are worthless or you don't have a purpose

Put those thoughts out of your head right now.

Look around you nobody's perfect

the person next to you is trying hard to make it as you are.

You do have a purpose in this world all you have to do is have faith.

I am addicted

to the blessings life offers

from a warm hug to a gentle smile.

The love of my friends and family.

The blessings of heaven.

Here I am still here

still smiling.

Stronger than ever before.