I'm not the girl you remember, a mean face, but submissive, nice to most, & sweet.

I tossed her to the wolves, no eviction notice, they ate her alive, fresh meat, bona petit.

My goals, priorities, dreams, self-love, even common sense took a back seat.

I'm a new woman, with seasoned eyes, standing steady on my feet.

Putting my best self through the most, now fighting to win the war against the worse me.

 

Don't feed into the delusion that you know me,

I don't even know her like that, I just met this me.

Blinded by my own fears and doubts has led me down this dark street.

Now I see me, for me, all of me, the good, the bad, the worst in me.

 

Lessons are to be learned, if not they will recycle, be put on repeat.

In this life, look out for snakes, kin or no kin, they lack loyalty.

Build your own kingdom, no dictatorship, you decide who's royalty.

 

Watch who's all talk, their action immeasurable even on the smallest of scales.

Their allegiance lies in satisfying the selfishness within themselves.

My selfishness took a hold of me, I read that book cover to cover, put it back on the shelf.

Mistakes and Lessons overlearned are my greatest gift to myself.

 

No one is perfect, except HIS son who died so that we may be blessed, without cease.

Lord have mercy on us all, not only me.

Feeding that selfish thought, only blocks future blessings meant for me.

 

We're all struggling, using external means to fill where the empty in our heart breeds.

Bearing the fruit of doubt and fears, more tears fall, drain, and bleeds.

I'm hard on myself, showing other humans more mercy, than I show the human in me.

 

I pray, not worry for the consequences of my actions, Karma is bound to arrive.

I’m not running from a thing, it just time to leave, I'm just blessed to be alive. 

I gladly accept it all, I did this, it's on my face. My worse self-wanted to survive.

 

No pointed fingers, no victim here, not looking for your pity.

I still have my dignity, so I won't beg, not even for a penny.

Many mistakes made, repeated a few, I've learned plenty.

 

The place of my birth breeds sickness and thirst.

Staying only guarantees a jail sentence or a one-way trip in a Hurst.

It's a trap, a dump, a cesspool of hurt.

 

Feeding the thirst for the worst, repeating the same family curse.

Acceptance is the only route, all other paths will to living out your purse.

Can't play in the dirt, expecting to look clean, but wearing a dirty shirt.