A three-syllable word
That can be heard
In the phrase “I love you”

To hear the phrase, “I love you”
With the interpretation of acceptance
Has become the downfall of me
And this creation of dependence
On parents who couldn’t love
even if they tried 23 years

I strive for an inevitable denial
Backed up by a loosely quoted bible
to prove I’m deserving of something…anything

It’s better to have loved than to have never loved at all
But I won’t choose to give up on love
just because a man wasn’t involved

Avoidance has been my crutch
I covet what others have
I dream of having parents
Who accept me for who I am
And I feel like I’m stuck

Do I really need their approval?
Do I really need them in my life?
Who would I be if I still lived at home?
Would I have ever met my wife?

Somedays I feel alright
But most days it takes its toll
The grief of a disowned child
Mourning the loss of the disowner
What sense does that even make?
There’s no love from where I seek it
The claims that they love me
Are bullshit and they can keep it
Cause love to me is acceptance
And it can be heard in the phrase “I love you”.
Until I hear that three-syllable word
Don’t talk to me, I don’t need you.

This poem is about: 
My family


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