The Abyss

They say we’re all unique

Each perfectly imperfect

But I see nothing good in my reflection

My head fills with self-loathing

Never pretty enough

  Never smart enough

     Never enough

These thoughts, they’re dangerous

The way they just slide in

Replacing your happiness with doubt

It’s intoxicating

And I can’t get out

I can pretend to ignore everyone else

Pretend their comments don’t hurt

But when the hate comes from inside

Well, it’s too late for you
You’re poisoned

Your thoughts, your conscience

Poisoned

All because you are never enough

Constantly wondering how much more you can take

Louder and  l  o  u  d  e  r

You’re endlessly screaming and no one seems to hear

Or care

Suddenly when you can’t take it anymore

Silence erupts in a kaleidoscope of nothingness

You’re falling into a chasm

Down

Down

Down

Finally you’re almost at the bottom and you realize

You don’t want to be here anymore

You don’t want to fall so deep that you can never return

Suspended in air you hover as you search for a way back up out of the darkness

But the empty void that you’ve entered is now full of water

Dark and cold and churning around you

You’re engulfed

And there’s no escape

After mere seconds of struggling you give up

No one will be waiting for you anyways

But wait

Bubbles envelop your head as someone dives into the water above you

Rope in hand they grab onto your waist and pull you out

For the first time in your life you’re not alone

.

.

.

It’s not often that I walk past that road

Where the earth is still split open from my journey to the abyss

Sometimes I peer over the edge and wonder what it would’ve been like

If I had let the water win

But I will never make that plunge again

For I now know that I am not alone

And as long as I keep that rope tied around my waist

I’ll always have somebody to catch me
To pull me out of the abyss

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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