for as long as 

i breathe

he wore a 

uniform

lottery ticket

of death

gamble

never to be won

eight years old

invested not with

glitter

but jitters

oldest

responsibilities

new life

for other lives

flash forward

left behind

a few times

do over often more

special skills

were basic skills

happy memories

far and few

bullies

didn't understand

so they undermine

me never react

but i retreated

loneness became

a trait

he returns

only to never be

there

still alone

to keep others

uninvolved 

happy

can't cope 

only mope

friends

luxury

love 

poison

unsure who i am

can't express

tried to impress

through lead

with my gift

disguised as curse

army brat

breaks down

childhood

to phases

and seasons

like a bad

television reality

never ends

think how lucky

or how unfortunate