3 Kinds of Love

I don’t know where it originated but I once read a quote that said the love that never was is the most hurtful of all. I instantly understood what the speaker meant. He, she, or it was talking about what if love. The kind that comes to you in fairy dust, whispers in your ear like Tinker Bell, gives you all the happy thoughts in the world, lifts you up in the air and makes you fly, and then drops you. There can be any countless number of reasons why but the promise of it comes, changes you, then leaves before it can truly develop. A baby bird that dies before it ever gets the chance to really live. That is almost love. What if love. The very worst kind. 

Happy love has a happy ending or no ending at all, depending on your point of view. It comes, changes you irrevocably, then never leaves. It stays by your side forever through the good and bad. And, while, not without difficulty or loss, it is always there. Sad love is the exact opposite. It comes, changes you, then, for whatever reason, leaves. And in its wake leaves utter carnage. Wounds, broken hearts, and scars. And then there is almost love. It approaches you as an umbrella and a flashlight on a stormy night. The promise of love and shelter. Warmth and light. 

Maybe it’s loud, maybe it’s quiet but it’s unmistakable and inexpressibly beautiful and then it’s gone. Circumstances and people change. Time passes and life makes demands. Stuff happens but – whatever the reason – the umbrella passes over you and then keeps going. It interrupts the rain for a moment but then the rain pounds down on you harder than before for now you know what it is to be dry. Each rain drop – each moment – brings the question why? What if? And that is almost love.