200 likes on an Instagram picture

I'm more brilliant than a chandelier fixture

Nothing you do or say could make me dimmer

Then again, I've always been bit of a fibber

 

This brain

I don't feel sane

These thoughts oh god I must refrain

All I feel is darkness, pain

 

This brain

It's not always mine

I swear to God I'm not always fine

 

They say I'm so outgoing

"I can't wait to see the places he's going"

All of my teachers say that I'm confident

Then why in the world do I feel just the opposite

 

I can do this myself

I'm not schizophrenic

A little depressed

Bipolar, I'm frantic

 

I want to be better

 

The drugs they'll kill my lowest lows

But what about my highest highs?

I can do it myself.

Fuck the drugs.

 

"The whole family's medicated. Why aren't you?"

Because that's not what I want to do

 

Mental illness is not real

You're melodramatic

Kid cut the reel

 

If that is true

Then tell me why

When I smile

I still want to die

 

Third grade, that's the first time I thought that

All because the kids were mean and said that I was fat

 

This is the battle I wage in my head

When I'm just trying to get out of bed

 

200 likes on a picture doesn't mean shit

When you're constantly having a mental fit

And insecurities have you stuck in a god damned lonely pit

 

But people don't see this side of me

They just see the person I try to be

 

No one chooses this

It's genetics

Glamorizing mental illness

It's pathetic

 

It's not some accessory

If you had it you'd truly see

 

What it feels like to be completely worthless

Even when everything in your life is totally worth it