Pain, Torment, Hurt, Sorrow, Emptiness

Feelings I experience everyday

There is no way to describe

Let them wash away and happiness stay

Things haven’t been looking up

Always one after another

But it gets worse before it gets better

I’ll always have a psychotic mother

It’s unfortunate this shit happens

My heart is telling me to keep going

Although my head is telling me to let go

It must be buried and never be showing

The darkness warms my heart

The smiles hide the tears

The laughter covers the anxiety

The bravery blocks the fears

I’m deep inside my own sorrow

Shedding tears night after night

Wanting to rip my heart out

Making sure no one’s in sight

The pounding in my chest

Hearing the blood flow through

A knife to my wrist

I drop it, it’s not the right thing to do

How do I stop this emotion?

Maybe you’ll see it in my eyes

Is it too late?

As they hear the mournful cries

Shaking uncontrollably

Breathing heavily

Losing memory

Vision gone

Who am I? Where am I? Why?