i spend so much time reaching for connections that have been severed on the other end

i am so terribly lonely that i would rather deal with people loving me for my actions rather than for my heart

i want to be able to just do nothing or say silly things and not feel judged for my "stupidity" 

i give so much love and i feel like i have to fight so hard to get anything in return 

am i just hard to love? am i not worth it?