weight 150lb #once upon a time

clothes #goodwill has sales too

appearance #she’s not born with it, it is maybelline

diet #is butter a carb?

friends #frienemies

exercise #does running errands count?

relationships #guilty until proven innocent

sex #she was invited to the party but never came

facebook #supporting stalkers since 2004

choosing restaurants #she does care

compliments #you thought that was a compliment

number of sexual partners #Kama Sutra is her middle name

hair #she doesn’t want you to touch it for a reason

shopping #bankruptcy is acceptable

work #pretending to be someone who cares

money #now i ain’t sayin she a golddigger

getting ready #still in bed

being shy #you think she’s shy

periods #excuse for getting out of anything, guys won’t ask questions

phone dying #its at full battery, you’re just annoying

love #she wasn’t lying